


So many losses

by duckywrites



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Post TFA, just a sad aftermath, nobody dies who isn't dead already
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-10
Updated: 2018-02-10
Packaged: 2019-03-16 10:16:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 464
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13634262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/duckywrites/pseuds/duckywrites
Summary: A quick drabble about a quiet moment after Han's death. That's all.





	So many losses

Leia sits perfectly still as long fingers part strands of her long, greying hair. She looks at herself in the mirror, studies the dark circles under her eyes, the wrinkles that seem to become more prominent with every passing day. Her shaking hands rest in her lap, shoulders slouched. She couldn’t bring her arms up enough to braid her hair herself if she tried to, and she doesn’t try.

Few words have been exchanged between the women, and Leia is glad about it. She doesn’t feel like talking. She doesn’t feel like going outside, but she has never been one to hide from the world. That’s what she has been taught by her parents, her mother; how to be a queen, and how to serve others. That’s what she learned when she was not yet twenty years old; how to grieve quietly and in privacy, how to push on, how to glue her broken pieces together just long enough to be a leader. Leaders don’t fall apart. What kind of message would that send?

The gentle touch is almost too much for her today. Amilyn knows when to be quiet, though her occasional looks make Leia almost want to squirm underneath her fingers. If there is something like a ‘sad shade of blue’, it’s the one Amilyn’s eyes take on during moments like these. She has a talent for sniffing it out, look through Leia’s best poker face.

But she is grateful. In all these years the two of them spent together, Amilyn has picked up enough about her culture to know how to do what has to be done. Mutely, Leia watches as it slowly takes shape. She doesn’t flinch, doesn’t make a sound, even with the occasional tug, despite Amilyn’s best efforts to be gentle. She is always gentle; as gentle as the situation allows, anyway.

Their shared silence is more comfort than any expression of condolence she has received so far. She has endured them, too, quietly and with the odd nod. The bustling of people around her, the pained looks on their faces every time they see her, it makes her nauseous. She nods and she thanks them, but anyone can see that she is far, far away.

Leia watches as Amilyn’s hands drop from her head and are placed on her shoulders, giving them a soft squeeze. She smiles at her, but even hers is pained and forced, empathetic and thin. Leia brings up a hand, places it over Amilyn’s. Only now she moves her head, just the slightest bit, to look at Amilyn’s work. She gives a small nod of approval, as her hand slips back into her lap.

For a moment, she wonders what Han would think of this; Leia wearing a mourning braid, just for him.


End file.
